I Failed

Jonathan Valania

* This poem contains references to child abuse, parental violence, and emotional trauma. Please read with care. Support is available if you need it.

April 22, 2024


I was laying our youngest down for bed.

You were helping our oldest

use the bathroom.


Then—

a crack.

Sharp.

Echoing.

I ran.


You were crying.

So was he.


A red mark burned across his face.

He clutched his cheek,

tears streaking through shock.


“Mommy, why did you hit me?”


I turned to you.

“Did you just slap him across the face?”


While crying you, nodded.

“Yes.”

And I broke.

I had promised to protect him.

I failed.


You had to leave.

He needed me now.


I texted your father

just to stop myself

from calling the cops.


I held him while he wept.

And I did too.


And I wondered—

how did you become

your mother’s daughter?

 

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Letters I'll Never Send

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