Predestined Pain

Jonathan Valania

The music swelled—too loud to bear.

But somehow, it felt like home.

My brain spun in place,

pirouetting through the static.


A Calvinist demise.

Predestined.

Maybe God meant me to meet you.


But why?


Aches trembled,

then tremored,

then roared—

beneath the brittle breath

of what I thought was love.


We were blessed with three.

That much was holy.


But nothing more.

Nevermore.

Was worth it.

 

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Letters I'll Never Send

It started with evidence—court documents, voicemails, and text messages meant to prove what was done behind closed doors. But somewhere in the quiet aftermath, it became something else. A record. A release. A slow, sacred beginning.

Letters I’ll Never Send is a poetry and prose collection drawn from the wreckage of an abusive relationship. These pages hold what was never safe to say out loud—fury, sorrow, confusion, love twisted by fear. It’s not a story wrapped in resolution. It’s what healing sounds like when you’re still in the middle.

The print edition includes exclusive poems and reflections not found online. A portion of proceeds goes toward supporting survivors of domestic abuse.

This book isn’t just for the ones who escaped.

It’s for anyone learning how to live after.