Illusion

This section explores the earliest days of the relationship—the sparks, the vulnerabilities, and the subtle conditioning that masquerades as intimacy. What begins as love soon reveals undertones of control, insecurity, and emotional manipulation. These poems document the slow and almost imperceptible erosion of self. They show the early compromises mistaken for connection and the dangerous myths we hold onto when we are desperate to believe in love.

Order of Poems & Prose: Letters I’ll Never Send (to My Younger Self) – Insomniac Psalms – First Date – Birthday Exodus – Speak – Relate – Vagabond – The First Fight – Mirroring – Shapeable – I Wasn’t Waiting to Fail – Floodlight – 2018 (prose)

*Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Illusion

Name: The Healing Bundle
Brand: Faith & Prose
SKU: wpp9e
Price: 39.99 USD
Availability: InStock

Vagabond

Jonathan Valania

But I smiled —said sure.And then I couldn’t fail.I couldn’t be the reason this didn’t work.Who the fuck would I be then?

Vagabond

Jonathan Valania

But I smiled —said sure.And then I couldn’t fail.I couldn’t be the reason this didn’t work.Who the fuck would I be then?

Mirroring

Jonathan Valania

You studied me like scripture,then repeated me back like prophecy.At first, I thought it was intimacy.But now I know it was technique.

Mirroring

Jonathan Valania

You studied me like scripture,then repeated me back like prophecy.At first, I thought it was intimacy.But now I know it was technique.

The First Fight

Jonathan Valania

It wasn’t loud.No doors slammed.No plates thrown.Just a sentence I didn’t see coming,and a silence I didn’t know how to fill.

The First Fight

Jonathan Valania

It wasn’t loud.No doors slammed.No plates thrown.Just a sentence I didn’t see coming,and a silence I didn’t know how to fill.

Shapeable

Jonathan Valania

She never told me I was broken.At least not at first.She just made me thinkI could be better—if I let her hold the chisel.

Shapeable

Jonathan Valania

She never told me I was broken.At least not at first.She just made me thinkI could be better—if I let her hold the chisel.

I Wasn’t Waiting to Fail

Jonathan Valania

I wasn’t waiting for failure.It came because I stayed too longtrying to prevent it.

I Wasn’t Waiting to Fail

Jonathan Valania

I wasn’t waiting for failure.It came because I stayed too longtrying to prevent it.

Floodlight

Jonathan Valania

You didn’t fall in love—you landed.Hard. Fast. Loud.It wasn’t a spotlight.It was a floodlight.Relentless. Blinding. Warm—until it burned.

Floodlight

Jonathan Valania

You didn’t fall in love—you landed.Hard. Fast. Loud.It wasn’t a spotlight.It was a floodlight.Relentless. Blinding. Warm—until it burned.

Read Letters I'll Never Send

What began as court documents, voicemails, and text messages became something more. It's a story about survival, truth-telling, and the long, sacred work of healing.

Letters I’ll Never Send is a raw, autobiographical collection of poems and prose written through the aftermath of emotional abuse. It speaks for the moments you couldn’t. It says what was never safe to say out loud.

Ordering the print edition includes exclusive poems and reflections not available online—and directly supports outreach efforts for survivors of domestic abuse.

This book is for the ones who made it out, and the ones still finding their way.