Part II · Descent
Ultimatum
July 20th, 2019
This is the fourth time this week they’ve come.
They’re worried about us —
they don’t think we’re making the right choice.
We need to stop telling them we fight.
I keep saying it’s probably nerves.
The wedding is only a few days away.
They’re my best friends.
They just want what’s best for us.
Or me, I should say.
They never really liked you.
That always made me sad.
But you really shouldn’t hit me when you’re mad.
Mace took me aside and told me to stop —
not to marry you.
He said I’m making a big mistake.
But I feel trapped.
I thought I could help you.
I thought I could fix you.
I don’t know if I can.
You keep telling me to change —
that I’m the problem.
I know I’m a problem,
but not the problem.
You told me I’m a piece of shit.
Worthless.
I’m the fucking worst.
It’s just the nerves.
It’s gotta be the nerves.
Everyone is mad.
They can’t take it —
the constant fighting,
the abuse.
But you say you love me,
so it’s not abuse.
Right?
They told me I needed to leave.
Then they left.
You spiraled.
You said you took all the pills.
Said you were gone.
Locked yourself in the bathroom.
I had to threaten to call the cops.
You cried and cried, blamed me —
like your mental health was my fault.
Like I was the reason you couldn’t live.
A classic cry for attention.
You didn’t take any.
And then you gave me an ultimatum:
You or them.
And I chose wrong.