Letters to my younger self — 104 poems, eight parts, six free online.
A raw, autobiographical collection of letters, poems, and prose written in the aftermath of emotional abuse. Read the first six parts free. If it stays with you, the print edition holds the full arc, exclusive poems, and funds outreach for survivors of domestic abuse.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
Enter your email to receive a free ebook of the first six sections of Letters I'll Never Send.
Foreword
Letters I'll Never Send exists to break the silence around domestic abuse, especially the kind no one talks about. It's a raw, poetic journey through survival, written for those still healing, still hurting, or still trying to leave. This book isn't just about what happened. It's about what still can.
Read now →Author's Note
This collection wasn't written to shock or solve. It was written to survive. In this note, the author offers context, content warnings, and a quiet invitation to read gently, especially if you've lived through anything like what's inside.
Read now →This section explores the earliest days of the relationship, the sparks, the vulnerabilities, and the subtle conditioning that masquerades as intimacy. What begins as love soon reveals undertones of control, insecurity, and emotional manipulation. These poems document the slow and almost imperceptible erosion of self. They show the early compromises mistaken for connection and the dangerous myths we hold onto when we are desperate to believe in love.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
Here, love becomes a performance. The poems chronicle a steady collapse into silence, denial, and dangerous hope. Abuse enters the body and the home. The speaker tries to save what cannot be saved, internalizing blame while navigating fear. Fatherhood arrives as a sacred calling in the middle of chaos. This is the year-by-year unraveling that so many survivors know well, when loving turns into surviving and survival becomes a quiet act of endurance.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
The facade breaks. The turning point arrives. The centerpiece poem, 12:30 AM, details the night the violence can no longer be ignored, when the speaker is attacked, strangled, and finally escapes. From that point on, every poem becomes a step out of denial. This section tells the truth that has been buried beneath excuses and shame. This wasn't dysfunction. This was abuse. It was real. It was physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
Fallout captures what happens next: Legal action, trauma therapy, lost faith, and a shattered family. There is grief not only for the relationship but for the belief that it ever meant what it was supposed to. Religious betrayal, systemic injustice, single parenting, and the first breaths of healing rise up through rage and sorrow. This section is a raw confrontation with the people and systems that failed. It speaks boldly where silence once lived.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
Here, survival becomes restoration. The speaker doesn't just get out, he begins to return to himself. We see the reemergence of faith, reimagined as something softer and more authentic. New relationships form. Fatherhood deepens. Healing is claimed without apology. These poems do not rush. They rebuild. They restore gentleness without giving up strength. Peace no longer feels foreign. It begins to feel like something that belongs.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
This final section is quiet, reflective, and sacred. It doesn't tie everything into a neat ending, because real healing rarely does. But the dust has settled. The quiet is no longer dangerous. Fatherhood is no longer shadowed by fear. Faith becomes personal. Love is no longer something that requires shrinking. This is not a celebration, it is a recognition. The violence ended, but the voice remained. And now, it speaks peace.
Please be advised: This book contains references to physical and emotional abuse, child abuse, gaslighting, suicide threats, and domestic violence. Reader discretion is advised.
What began as court documents, voicemails, and text messages became something more. Letters I'll Never Send is a raw, autobiographical collection of poems and prose written in the aftermath of emotional abuse. It's a story of survival, truth-telling, and the long, sacred work of healing.
By the time you reach Settled, you've seen the full arc, what it means to love someone who harms you, what it takes to leave, and what survival really costs. But for survivors, survival isn't peace. Safety isn't softness. And living isn't the same as being alive.
That's where these last two sections matter most. Reflections is where the voice steadies. These poems are quiet, grounded, and honest. They explore parenting without fear, faith without shame, and the slow return to softness after survival.
Letters I Never Got is the heart of this book. These are not poems. They're offerings. For the one who went back. The one still in it. The one carrying guilt that was never theirs. For the man who survived but feels invisible. These letters are not closure. They're connection. They are the reason this story was told.
Ordering the print edition includes exclusive poems and reflections not available online, and supports outreach for survivors of domestic abuse.
This book is for the ones who made it out, and the ones still finding their way.
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